Saturday, November 6, 2010


pure terror
I wasn't going to participate.  I know, I know, it's a terrible thought.  I'm swamped with school work as it is, so why distract myself with something like Halloween and the pursuit of the right costume?  I had good intentions, but after speaking with my uncle, I was forced to change my mind.  He called me a "Fuddy-duddy."  What else could I do?!  You can't just get called a fuddy-duddy and take it!  I did make him help me brainstorm costume ideas.  His best help was, "What frightens you more than anything else in the world"?  That little bit of advice was all it took.

I dressed up as a cup of decaffeinated Starbucks Pike Place Roast, literally the most terrifying material item I can conceive of.  The problem with this sort of a costume is that even if you add subtleties like a coffee sleeve with special boxes checked off "disgusting," "terrifying," "lava hot," and "decaf," people still think you're a fan.  Take a look for yourself:
close-up of the front of the sleeve

reverse side of the parody sleeve
my thoughts, just for good measure
 As you can see, the costume was made to look very much like an actual Starbucks cup. Even with all of these small details clearly making the costume obviously anti-Starbucks in nature, I received at least 100, "Yeah! I love Starbucks!", to which I replied, "I hate you."

Overall, I'd say the festive evening went well.  Part of the agreement you have to sign before you can take your newborns home from the hospital is that you dress your entire family in a set of costumes that coordinate.  So, in order to bring the rest of the family in on the action, my daughter was a Sweet 'n Low and my son was an Equal packet.  My wife, Micalah, was the orchestrator of the coffee horror show, she was a Starbucks "barista." More photographic evidence:
too cute
without baby bodies inside...
coffee family of HORROR!
I figure, if we have any more kids for next year, he or she would take the role of raw sugar.  The costumes were a hit, even if for the wrong reason.  The Missourian newspaper snapped a couple shots of the family for their online publication of the best costumes in Missouri, so that's cool.  Plus, I won second prize in the church's chili cook-off (lost to the guy who has cooked for all the mission trips for longer than I've been alive).

Lord, thank You for the time to hang out with my family and extended family in Christ.  I'm sorry for inadvertently advertising for the supreme heresy, Starbucks. Forgive me of my ignorance. Keep my head deflated and on straight. Here we go.

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