Seriously Hilarious, But They're Serious.

Over Christmas break from school (and work) my family and I visited the grandparents. About once a week my wife and I had a chance to get out of the house on our own. These mini-dates usually include searching out a new local specialty coffee shop. Unfortunately, our families live in the world's worst specialty coffee environments, rural Missouri.

Our first encounter with "rural Missourah" specialty coffee was at a Goodwill store. Not exactly a coffee shop at all, but still. We were shopping for some baby shoes for our son (no need to spend the big bucks for shoes he will neither wear much nor remember). Anyway, while browsing, I found this gem:
Wow. Does that "espresso" look like some sweet black coffee or what? Mmm... delicious (please catch the intense sarcasm).

The second run-in with fantastic south-western Missouri specialty coffee came at an odds and ins store called "Doo-Dads," so you know it's good. We had enough sense to bring our own whole bean Guatemalan coffee from Northwest Coffee and Costa Rica Don Mayo from Kaldi's Coffee, my burr grinder, and Chemex brewer, so luckily we weren't actually looking for these "finds." Here is the pain: Again, SOO GOOD. How do you like that? This was so rural, even Starbucks is a foreign idea (hence "Star Buck"). We were ready to get home.

Lord, save me from this body of coffee sin. Keep my head deflated and on straight. Here we go.